so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
