Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
