i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
