It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
