Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Someone signed my nipple.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
