I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
