I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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