Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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