Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
