hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize