Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize