I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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