advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
