are you still at the devil's house?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
