She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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