I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
