pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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