Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
