Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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