I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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