Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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