There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
