very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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