Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
