Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize