thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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