The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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