Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
