There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
