Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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