I only kidnapped one of them. chill
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
