I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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