The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
