He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
