butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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