This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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