I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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