She is in my trunk
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize