spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
