I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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