Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Randomize
