Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
