I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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