You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
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Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
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No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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