.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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