You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
