I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
