i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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