he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
