he wants to bone in the snuggie
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
