She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
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I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
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There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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