oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
