names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
