ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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