you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
