I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
