Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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