There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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