Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
