The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
