if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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