with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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