I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
